Those who tell you to not be afraid of failure have yet to understand the use of fear.
- Socially anxious? Put yourself in social situations.
- Afraid of getting hurt? Go to the gym. Enter a cage.
- Afraid of being rejected? Put yourself in ridiculous situations.
Every kick in the ass is also a step forward.
The solution to your problems is to simply live more life and have a variety of different experiences. If you truly believe in yourself, you'll believe that there's an infinite number of opportunities available to you, and a number of different ways to approach them.
Fear is only there out of respect for an outcome, and an acknowledgment that there are consequences for your actions, whether good or bad. It means you care, allowing yourself to assess the risks, and as a result, determine your next move.
The brave and the bold use fear to heighten their senses but then take action in spite of it. They do not use their fear as an excuse to endure suffering.
Remember, your bill comes due regardless of what you choose. You either pay by suffering stagnation or by putting yourself out there in the name of growth.
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If you're feeling stuck, I highly suggest using Russell Brand's worksheet and answering the following questions:
- Am I feeling unsatisfied, limited, empty, or anxious?
- Do my feelings lead me to make (or not make) decisions, take (or not take) actions, or say (or not say) things that I then regret?
- Am I suffering from misery, depression, unhappiness, or low self-worth?
- Am I suffering from anxiety, doubt, or perfectionism? Am I projecting imaginary future scenarios and then worrying about them?
- Is it becoming clear to me that my plan is not working?
- Is it clear that I need a new plan that is not sourced from my own head and drives if I am to find fulfillment?
- This plan of mine is like a mind virus of self-obsession, can I surrender it? Am I open to a different plan? Am I open to being guided?
- Pride (what I think you think about me).
- Self-esteem (what I think about myself).
- Personal relations (the script I give others).
- Sexual relations (as above, pertaining to sex).
- Ambitions (what I want in life, my overall vision of my ‘perfect’ self).
- Security (what I need to survive).
- Finances (money and how it affects my feelings).